Three Ladies and a Tramp

This blog is for three people. My mother, my sister and my wife. Three women, who change, impact and inspire me each day of my life. The reason I created this blog is simple. My wife needs it. She misses the blog entries I used to create on a daily basis. For almost a full year of our marriage, the blog was our connection. It became a way for me to discuss my feelings and for her to read about them. She could have just asked or talked with me but there is something in my writing I guess she needs. I don’t blame her. I do find the voice I have on paper is much better at being specific, emotional and foretelling. I articulate better writing than speaking.

So, I guess I am the tie binding this little group. At least I will have a place to express my feelings. I may not write as frequently as before. I do miss the daily writing. Like exercise, I need to keep in shape, so I think it is good to at least write a little every day.

I have found my brain losing its dexterity. Last year, really made it work and I enjoyed the feeling of maxing it out with theory and perspectives.

Just the nature of this blog may point out a simple fact: I relate better with women then men. I find men to be caustic, plodding, arrogant, and wrapped up in their insecurities. I would never confide my true feelings with any of my male friends. They would turn everything inward and wonder what it means to them. And politics finds men wanting to prove their sexuality by their stances. I call it “dick swagger.” Men are conservatives because they think a hammer can solve any situation. Just pound the nail…and keep pounding until the problem is fixed. Excuse me dude, but we are dealing with mold? Well, burn it! It will catch the house on fire. Build a new house!!! It’s all about muscle and swagger.

I guess my personal feelings and thoughts have to be written down. They tell you not to give out so much information on blogs but I’ve done it for a long time now. Somewhere someone knows way too much about me. I often think no one understands me really. Sometimes not even myself. However, I would say you three know me rather well.

I wish I could say this blog won’t go into discussing a certain place we all know I’ll write about. But, of course, I’ll write about….Michigan.

Here’s the first take on that….I like running at night because if I play the right music, look down at the cement, I transport myself to a town far away. I imagine the stone walls passing by my feet on my right…the long causeway…the bus stops…the crisp wrappers…it all comes back to me as I run.

American life is so smothering. I have to come out and say it, I don’t like the people. I found Russians as stubbornly dismissive as Americans but not Scots. Maybe the English are so, but not the Scots. Americans are so self-centered it is an impenetrable force and discussions are a tap dance of boosting egos.

Academics are as arrogant as TV stars and they really have no right to be. Now, when I deal with people it is so much easier, as I just let them talk. I feel humbled. I’ve had my knees taken out on a cheap shot. I am vulnerable. As I go from one culture of TV (NBC) to another culture (PBS) and then another (Scottish TV) and then another (Sports Time Ohio), I find that my existence is insignificant in the rush of talent. Like water it forces everything in its wake, you either float and take a ride or drown. The memory of my career is only in my mind.

So, here we are…a public personal forum for me again. Let’s hope I can remain positive.

It is not always easy. The four of us have our visions of what life should be. Each one of our visions are different, each not quite what we expected. However, we all have had memorable lives so far. In the grand scheme of things, we’ve done rather well.

I used the other blog as a vent for emotions and I’m sure I’ll go right back to doing the same. It is just what comes natural.

So, this is our blog. Feel free to comment on anything written. We may have an occasional visit from someone from cyber space so remind yourself when you do write.

I love you all.